


Help Me Understand

by perfectlyme945



Category: The Covenant (2006)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 19:28:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5838028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfectlyme945/pseuds/perfectlyme945
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Some non-consensual sex. Nothing to graphic. The outfit for Nicky's can be located here http://www.polyvore.com/nickys_work_outfit/set?id=189138339</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

I was once again sitting in the boring little room in a circle with a bunch other worn out looking people. I watched the rain pour down outside the windows before the leader started to speak. 

“Hello, my name is Samantha and I am an addict. Welcome to the 26th group of Narcotics Anonymous. Please help me open this meeting with a moment of silence for the addicts who still suffer, followed by the we version of the Serenity prayer.” She said and everyone bowed their head for a moment. After everyone was looking at her again she started with the Serenity prayer and everyone followed her lead. 

“God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Everyone said together. 

Afterward Samantha started talking in her annoying, bubbly voice again. “It costs nothing to belong to this fellowship, you are a member when you say you are. If you’ve used in the past 24 hours, please listen to what is being said and talk to someone after the meeting. Is there anyone here attending their first NA meeting anytime, anywhere?” She waited for a moment as a couple people raised their hands. “WELCOME! You are the most important people here!” She said handing them little white nametags. “Is there anyone returning from a relapse or would like to recommit to the N.A. program?” She asked looking directly at me and I reluctantly raised my hand. 

See I really didn’t want to be here, but it was either attend these stupid meetings and raise my grades so Spencer Academy would take me in on scholarship, or end up homeless or in a cell the day I turned 18. 

“Welcome back!” she said before starting on her spiel again. “There is one rule that applies to everyone attending: no drugs, paraphernalia, or weapons may be on your person at meetings. If you are carrying any of these things, please take it outside and leave it, then you are welcome back in. This is for the protection of the meeting place and the NA fellowship as a whole.” When everyone was seated again she started speaking. “We do not recognize seniority, but we do celebrate clean time anniversaries. Does anyone have today or in the past week 30 days clean?” she asked a few people raised their hands and congratulations followed. This continued as she went to 60 days. 90 days, 6 months, 9 months and so on. Before she decided it was time for the recovery prayer. 

“We cannot change the nature of the addict or addiction. We can help to change the old lie “Once an addict, always an addict,” by striving to make recovery more available. God, help us to remember this difference.” We said as a group again. 

“Who would like to start the open speaking time?” she asked looking around before her eyes stopped on me. We both knew I had no choice but to step up if I wanted to get away from here, Spencer’s wanted reports directly from her on how I was doing. 

I sat forward with a sigh, it’s not like I hadn’t told my story multiple times before. “Hello everybody, my name is Rachel Clinton and I’m an addict.” 

“Hello Rachel.” The group chorused around me. 

“For those of you who haven’t heard my story I’ll start at the beginning. I’ll even go into full detail since this will be my last meeting here before I move.” I sighed again before running a hand over my face. “When I was five years old my house was broken into, a group of five guys decided my home looked like a good target for an attack. They broke in when we were all home and pushed us into one of the bedrooms. They tied my mother and I to the bed, and my father to a chair across from us and made him watch as they raped us for the next three days. One of the neighbors noticed something wasn’t right and called the police. The attackers heard the sirens and shot my mother and father in the head, they were about to shoot me when the police broke down the door averting their attention.” I said glancing around to notice tears on some of the faces around me. I turned my eyes back to the floor. “I was bounced from foster home to foster home for months after that until I landed with the family I’m with now. When they heard my story they thought I would be a perfect addition to their family.” I said sarcastically. “They should have never been allowed to have a little girl. Since then I have dealt with an alcoholic for a mother figure, and a pedophile for a father figure and he encourages his son and friends to use me as well, but none of that is what got me hooked on the narcotics. On my thirteenth birthday I tried to run away. The sun had been shining all day and nobody was home. I figured it would be the best chance I was going to get, but as soon as it got dark it started to storm. I was hiding in the park under one of the playsets when I was struck by lightning. When I screamed they found me and took me to the hospital. The hospital gave me something for the pain, and I’ve been hooked ever since. I’m here because this will decide where I end up, be it Ipswich, or however far my bike will take me.” I said with a slight shrug. As soon as I was finished I leaned my chair back on two legs again and propped my booted feet up on the table in front of me. “Alright, who’s next?” I said in a flippant tone before going back to staring out the window at the rain. 

“Ok everyone. Today I’d like to end out session with the Just For Today Prayer.” The leader said when the last person was done talking. 

“Just for today my thoughts will be on my recovery, living and enjoying life without the use of drugs. Just for today I will have faith in someone in N.A. who believes in me and wands to help me in my recovery. Just for today I will have a program. I will try to follow it to the best of my ability. Just for today through N.A. I will try to get a better perspective on my life. Just for today I will be unafraid, my thoughts will be on my new associations, people who are not using and who have found a new way of life. So long as I follow that way, I have nothing to fear.” The group said, and people started to get up and stretch.

“Rachel, would you mind helping me straighten up?” Samantha asked as people started filing out of the meeting room. 

“Sure.” I said as I started collapsing down the folding chairs. When we were finished cleaning up she handed me a glass of lemonade. 

“I already talked to the Provost at Spencer Academy. The school is sending a U-Haul to help you move your things, it should be here later today.” She said but I could see there was something else she wanted to say.

“Just spit it out already.” I said giving her a small smile. 

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner what was going on? I could have gotten you out of that house when you first started attending classes.” She said with worry and guilt in her eyes.

“Because they would have come to take me back, and who knows what they would have done to you. It’s something that I was used to dealing with by the time I met you. Besides, by tomorrow I’ll be half way across the country from them. I have to get going though, I’m heading to the police station from here. I don’t think they’re going to let me leave without a fight.” I said with a sigh. 

“I wish you all the best, sweetie.” She said, and I waved before heading out to my bike. 

By the time the U-Haul arrived there were three cop cars sitting in my driveway, and the officers were inside helping me pack. After they walked in to find me pinned against the wall by my father figure, Gerald, they decided it would be a good idea if they help me pack to I could leave sooner. Once all seven boxes and my bike were loaded into the U-Haul I thanked the officers and slid into the passenger seat, and away from everyone who hurt me.


	2. Arriving in Ipswich

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some non-consensual sex. Nothing to graphic. The outfit for Nicky's can be located here http://www.polyvore.com/nickys_work_outfit/set?id=189138339

After spending the majority of the first day in the U-Haul with some guy I didn’t know or trust driving I decided it would be better if I rode my bike the rest of the way. When we stopped for the night I unloaded my motorcycle and grabbed a backpack to put a couple changes of clothes in. The next morning I took off on my bike making the rest of the drive to Ipswich that day. 

It was around 3:30 when I got into town and I realized my bike would probably need an oil change. After stopping for what I needed I put it in my backpack and asked for directions to Spencer’s. Getting to the school wasn’t too hard after that, and I quickly made my way to the admissions office.

“Hello, how can I help you today?” The woman behind the desk asked when I walked in. 

“I’m Vanessa Clinton. I was told to come here when I arrived.” I said looking around the office. I noticed a guy sitting in one of the chairs there. He had blond hair and blue/grey eyes, and he was in the school uniform. He was also blatantly staring at my ass. 

“Ah yes, I was wondering when you would arrive. We weren’t expecting you for another couple days.” She said drawing my attention back to her. “After the last report we received from your group leader, Provost Higgins decided it would be best for you to have your own room, and to see the school counselor twice a week.” 

“And if I refuse to see the counselor?” I asked my voice and eyes going hard. 

“That is completely up to you, but so you know Provost Higgins told me to inform you that if you refuse counseling, and later mess up you will be removed from this school.” 

“Well, you can inform Provost Higgins, that if he thinks he can continue to throw his weight around after everything I went through then he can take this school and shove it up his ass.” I said slamming my hands down on the papers in front of me before picking them up and storming out of the building. I was walking my red and black 2003 Ducati 749 over to a less used area of the parking lot when the blond walked out of the admissions office. Opening my backpack I placed a drain pan under my bike and pulled the oil plug. 

“Hey there sweet thang, I’m Reid Garwin.” He said stopping next to where I was crouched down. 

I stood up wiping my hands on a rag before introducing myself. “Vanessa Clinton.” I said holding my hand out for him to shake. 

“Pleasure to meet you, miss Clinton.” He said bringing my hand to his lips. “If you don’t mind me asking, where are you from?”

“Hastings, Nebraska.” I said turning to look back at my bike before removing the oil filter. “Shouldn’t you be in class?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Shouldn’t you?” he countered looking me up and down. 

“Nope.” I said popping the p. “I wasn’t even supposed to be in town for another two days, but if your gonna hang around you could give me some useful information.” I said before crouching back down to wipe the old oil off my bike. 

“What kind of information?” he asked crossing his arms over his chest as the bell rang signaling the end of class. 

“I don’t know, anything that could be helpful to someone who’s new in town.” I said with a shrug as I started prepping the filter to go back on. 

“Hmm, there’s a party down at the Dells later this week, and Nicky’s is pretty much the only place in town that’s any fun.” He said watching me put my bike back together. 

“Now, you see, that single statement pretty much laid out your entire personality on a platter.” I said as I started to fill my bike with oil. “I’ll give you a run down and you can tell me if I missed anything. First, you’ve got this whole attitude like you don’t give a shit about anything, you were probably born into money. You have the whole resident playboy thing going on, and think you are god’s gift to women. You don’t give a shit about school or what your parents think, and underneath all that you think your more powerful than anything else out there.” I said as I cleaned up before I glanced up at him and noticed three other guys standing there as well. They were all standing there with their eyes wide. “Now, I’m only going to say this once so you better listen up.” I said crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m sick and tired of guys who think they are god’s gift to women, you touch me and I’ll knock you on your fucking ass so fast you won’t know what hit you.” I said before climbing on my bike and taking off back into town. 

I spent most of the afternoon out and about looking for a job, and eventually got directed to Nicky’s. “Hello, can I help you with something?” A rather tall, muscular bald guy asked. 

“Looking for a job. I was told I might find one here.” I said walking over to the bar. 

“You ever work a bar before?” He asked looking me up and down.

“No, but I’m a quick learner. Show me how to do something once and I can do it again.” I said with a small smile. 

“Think you could work a shift tonight? Someone called in.” 

“Sure, you got someplace I can clean up a bit first?” I asked before looking around at the other girls.

“Yeah, right this way.” He said waving me around the bar and through the back room. “I’m Nicky by the way.”  
“Vanessa, but you can call me V or Nessa.” I replied. “Any dress code I should know of?” I asked as I walk through the door to the bathroom. 

“No, just make sure your bits are covered.” He said before walking away. 

It didn’t take me very long to get ready. I walked back out to the main bar and watched as Nicky’s eyes nearly popped out of his head when I walked in. “To much?” I asked looking down self-consciously.

“No, you clean up real nice.” He said looking over me once more before waving me over. “Here are the basics of what you need to know.” He said pointing to a small tablet under the counter. “If you aren’t sure how to make a drink tap on its name and follow the instructions.” He said with a smile. “Till is simple he said leading me over to it. Push the button with the drink. Tips go in your pocket.” He said and I raised an eyebrow at him. “You can drop them in this jar if you want.” He said with a smile. 

The first hour was pretty slow, to I sat in the back room and went through the tablet videos until I had viewed them all at least once. “We’re starting to pick up.” Nicky said poking his head into the backroom, and I quickly made my way to the bar. 

The night was going along pretty well, until I noticed Reid getting a bit pissy. “Be right back Nicky.” I called as I jumped over the counter. I had just made it over to them as Reid was pushed back. “Back off.” I yelled, and Reid backed up a bit holding his hands up. “You lost the bet. Give him his money.” I said turning to the other kid. 

“No chance, he cheated.” He said looking at me.

“Bullshit. I was watching, he made the shot now hand it over.” I said and watched him raise his hand to me. “Do it, I dare you.” I said and watched his hand come flying at my face. I quickly grabbed it and spun him until his arm was trapped in the middle of his back and he was leaned over the pool table. “How much?” I asked pulling his arm up higher on his back causing him to cry out in pain. 

“$250.” He shouted, and I slid his wallet out with the hand that wasn’t holding him down. I handed to money over to Reid before slipping the guys wallet back into his pocket, and pulling him up from the table. I turned until he was facing the door. 

“Walk.” I said still holding his arm behind his back. By the time we got to the door Reid’s long haired friend was waiting with the door open, and I shoved the other guy out the door. “Don’t come back until you know how to act like a man.” I said before walking back behind the bar. 

“You good V?” Nicky asked looking over at me as I walked back behind the bar. 

“Didn’t even break a sweat.” I said with a small smile. 

“Good to know you can handle yourself, I don’t think I’ve ever seen those two walk away from a fight.” Nicky said mixing a couple drinks. A few minutes later I saw the long haired boy walk up to the counter and hit it a couple times causing Nicky to look up. 

“Hey can I get a burger, fries, and a coke.” He called before walking over to where Reid was standing with one of the other guys from earlier. He looked to be younger that Reid and the other guy, but not by much and his brown hair was very messy. I watched as the long haired one walked up to Reid and gave him a fist bump before turning to the other and doing some kind of bro shake. Reid put his arms around the long haired ones shoulder before getting distracted by something at the bar. I looked down a bit to see a girl with a little black skirt on and shook my head. When I looked back at the guys they were putting money down on the table and a moment later her skirt blew up. The long haired one picked up the money and walked over to where I was standing as Nicky placed his order in front of me. I looked over at Nicky confused, but all he did was wink before going back to the other side of the bar. 

“Hey aren’t you the girl who ripped Reid a new one earlier?” The guy asked as I handed him his order, and he handed me the sixty. 

“Yeah. I tend to be a bit defensive when I’m alone with people I don’t know.” I said with a sigh. 

“I’m Pogue Perry.” He said holding out his hand for me to shake. “Thanks for breaking that up between Reid and Aaron before it could turn into a fight.” He said handing me back twenty of the change I gave him. 

“No problem. I’m Vanessa, or V your pick.” I said with a small smile. 

“I like V. You know, they’re hiring at the Motorcycle Garage just down the road to, if you want I could put in a good word for you.” He said reaching out to tug on a strand of my hair. 

“How do you know, that I know more than just how to change the oil?” I asked with a raised brow. 

“You just look like that kind of girl.” He said as Take Your Time by Sam Hunt came on. “Dance with me?” he asked and I glanced over at Nicky who waved me away. 

“I think Nicky is trying to play matchmaker.” I said as I jumped over the bar and slid down to stand in front on him. “You got money on this to?” I asked as he pulled me out to the floor and placed my arms around his neck, and placed his on my waist. 

“Saw that did you?” He asked blushing a bit.

“Yeah, I’m curious though. How would you have gotten the answer to your bet if that breeze wouldn’t have come?” I asked with a small smile. 

“Send Reid to ask. After all he has the whole resident playboy thing going on.” He said with a smile. “Want to meet my friends?” he asked when the song ended, and I nodded as he lead me over to where Reid was standing by the pool table. “You already met Reid.” He said pointing to him, and I nodded before he turned to the other boy. “This is Tyler Simms.” He said and Tyler held out his hand.

“Pleasure to meet you. I’m Vanessa Clinton, or V.” I said with a smile causing him to blush. Before Pogue steered me away from them. “This is Sarah, and Kate.” Pogue said introducing me as well. “Sarah is Caleb’s girlfriend and Kate is her roommate.” Pogue said leading me over to the foosball table. “This is Caleb.” Pogue said introducing me to a boy with black hair and brown eyes. “And this is Ch-“ 

“Chase.” I gasped recoiling into Pogue’s arm that was around my waist. 

“Hey baby sister. Dear old dad sent me to keep an eye on you.” He said with a smirk on my face, and I quickly twisted out of Pogue’s arms. 

“I should get back to work.” I said backing away from them. I quickly made my way back to the bar, and continued fixing drinks until the bar closed. I changed back into my leathers and walked out to collect my tips. 

“Looks like you had a good night.” Nicky said with a smile on his face. 

“Yeah. Thank you for taking a chance on me Nicky. I really appreciate it.” I said walking out the front door. I jumped when I felt someone’s hand touch my shoulder and quickly turned around to find Pogue, Caleb, Reid and Tyler standing behind me. 

“You ok? You left in a hurry when you noticed your brother was here.” Caleb said looking at me concerned. 

“That bastard isn’t my brother.” I snapped before shaking my head a bit. “Sorry, just wound a little too tight.” I said with a sigh as I scanned the surrounding are for Chase, I could feel him watching me. “I think I’m just going to go back to the dorms.” I said running my hands over the bruises that lingered on my arms. 

“I’ll walk with you to your bike. I parked mine with yours.” He said with a sheepish smile and I laughed. 

“I think I’ll stop by the shop tomorrow. I don’t know how long I’m gonna last at Nicky’s.” I said with a sigh.

“Why’s that, you seemed to be doing a great job.” Pogue said looking at me confused. 

“Chase doesn’t like the fact I’m working there, I’m sure I’ll get an earful when I get to my dorm tonight.” Before he could ask any more questions I put on my helmet and took off. 

When I got back to the dorms I went up to my room to find Chase waiting inside. “You didn’t really think you would get away from me that easily did you?” he asked standing up from my bed. 

“Why are you here?” I asked dropping my bag to the ground and wrapping my arms around myself. 

“Because you belong to me.” He yelled coming over to where I was standing and slamming his hands on either side of my head. 

“I moved halfway across the country to get away from you.” I yelled trying to push him away from me, and soon realized my mistake when he punched me in the stomach forcing the air from my lungs. He held me against the door and continued to hit me over and over until he got tired of it, and when he released me I slide to the ground and he hit me again in the face. 

“Nobody is ever going to love you.” He yelled at me as he pulled me up from the floor and threw me toward the bed. “You’re nothing but a fat bitch.” He yelled pulling the clothes from my body. “You’re going to live your whole life alone.” He shouted as he thrust into me. I knew there was no point in fighting against him. I had never won before, so why would tonight be any different. “Scream bitch.” He yelled as he hit me in the face again. When I still didn’t make a sound he let out a growl before flipping me over and slamming into my ass. I bit down hard on my bottom lip to stop myself from screaming, and when it was over he left. 

When I was sure he wasn’t going to come back I got up and grabbed my pajamas and towels and headed to the showers. Once in the stall I quickly stripped down and turned the water on as hot as it would go. I tried to stop the tears from falling, but soon I was sobbing on the floor of my shower. “You alright miss?” I heard someone ask and quickly looked up to see there was someone standing outside my stall. “Hey, you alright?” I heard him call again before I recognized his voice. 

“Reid?” I questioned shutting off the water and wrapping a towel around myself. A second later the door to my stall opened. 

“Vanessa?” He questioned, and I saw his eyes skim what he could see of my body before anger took over his face. “Are you ok? Who did this to you?” he asked walking over to me, his hand hovering just over the bruise that was forming on my cheek. “How bad is it?” he asked gesturing toward the towel, and in that moment I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. I opened the towel and showed him the bruises that were forming on my body, what I didn’t notice were the handprints that made it obvious I had been raped. 

“What’s going on Reid? Who’s there?” I heard Sarah ask from the other side of the stall. 

“It’s nothing to worry about Sarah. Why don’t you go back to your dorm?” he said and waited for her to leave. When he came back I had my pajama shirt on, but I couldn’t bend down to get my underwear or pants on. “Let me help you.” He said moving to my side and bending down in front of me. Once I was dressed he grabbed my things. “Why don’t you stay with Tyler and I tonight?” he offered, and when I nodded my head he started toward his dorm with an arm around my waist. 

When we got to the dorm I had my hair hanging down in my face. “What’s she doing here?” I heard Tyler ask from the small in dorm bathroom. 

“Don’t start Tyler. She had some trouble tonight and doesn’t want to be alone.” He said before taking one of my towels and started to towel dry my hair. 

“What are you doing?” I asked ask I felt the towel moving over my hair. 

“I’m taking care of you.” Reid said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You deserve it.” He said placing a light kiss on my cheek causing me to wince. “Tyler, can you bring some aspirin out with you.” 

Tyler walked over with the bottle of aspirin and a bottle of water, and I saw his jaw clench when he looked at me. “Who did this?” he growled out his hands clenching so hard the bottle of water burst. “Was it Aaron and his friends?” he asked and I shook my head no. “Who?” he asked again, and when I didn’t answer he handed the aspirin to Reid and went to get another bottle of water for me. 

“Here, take these, and I’ll brush out your hair for you.” He said handing me a couple aspirin as Tyler handed me the water bottle. He went to start at the top of my hair when I grabbed his wrist. 

“Start at the ends or you’ll end up pulling out all my hair.” I said with a small smile, as I took the pills. “Do you know how to braid?” I asked when he had all of the tangles out of my hair, and he shook his head. 

“I do.” Tyler spoke up from his bed. “My ex taught me.” He said with a smile before moving behind me to quickly braid my hair. 

“Thanks.” I said when he finished and moved to stand in front of me. 

“How did you get this streak in your hair?” he asked running his hand over the white streak that ran through my red hair. 

“I was struck by lightning on my thirteenth birthday.” I said with a wry smile. “Happy birthday to me, right.” When I looked up I saw the boys staring at each other in shock. 

A moment later Tyler’s phone rang and he quickly answered it. “What’s up Caleb?” Tyler asked going over to the window.

“No. He’s been here for the last two hours taking care of V.” he said before moving to the bathroom and closing the door, I let out a yawn and leaned back against Reid’s chest. 

“Looks like someone used her as a punching bag.” 

“No, she said it wasn’t him, but she’s not telling who it was either.” 

“Hold on, I’ll ask.” He peeked his head out the door. “Did this happen here in the dorms?” Tyler asked and I nodded my head.

“She says yes.” Tyler said as he closed the door again. 

“I don’t know you can talk to her tomorrow. Make sure Chase isn’t around, they don’t seem to get along.” 

“I know. Hey before you hang up, she says she was struck by lightning on her thirteenth birthday.” 

“She doesn’t seem to know anything about it.” 

“Ok we’ll keep an eye on her.” Tyler said before walking back out into the bedroom, where Reid and I were laying curled up in his bed. “Caleb wants to talk to her in the morning. He’s also going to let Pogue no what we know.” 

I felt Reid shift a bit to look down at me before he spoke. “She wasn’t just beaten tonight Tyler, she was raped to. I don’t think she knows I know, but she had handprints on her waist. That’s why I invited her here. I was in the admissions office when she checked in, she’s rooming by herself and I didn’t want her by herself after what happened.” Reid explained, before I fell into an exhausted sleep.


End file.
